Wretched Green-Eyed Monster

I started writing a childrens' book about a little green-eyed monster who wreaks havoc with envy in a small town. It's a follow-up to - never mind.

This is my green-eyed monster, inspired by my friends and boyfreind, who all had a fabby Saturday night in Manchester when I couldn't go because I'd volunteered to work an extra Sunday like an idiot.

So I seethed in charcoal and acrylics, sent them this pic and had an early night how disgustingly responsible. I really wish sometimes that I drank more.



Seethe seethe seethe...

Colin Fahrenheit

He's checking out the laydeez
And he's out to get some sex
He's your foxy wedding DJ
In his aviator specs

With his slicked-back hair and beer gut
He looks like quite a catch
He's got Rohypnol in his bumbag
Just in case he meets his match

Impressive with the fillies
He's burning up the floor
With one eye on the women there
The other on the door

He'll play Romeo at the bar
With a wallet full of greens
And you just know those are bed socks down
His stone wash denim jeans

At 2am the club shuts
Romeo goes back to Rome
Frustrated, pissed and lonely
Colin takes his semi home

11

Bald and marked
Smooth and long
In shades of white and blue
And pink and peach
Transparent satin
Reveals a map
Silken, soft and worshipped
Admired by many
Adored by The One
Like perfect shaped marble
Which shades with the Sun

Gerbil/Giraffe: A Gerbil's Cheeky Demise

My runaway Gerbil
Gerbilled a Giraffe.
When you've been
Gerbilled by
A Gerbil
You know when you've
Been Gerbilled.
Giraffe cried out - "AARGH!"
He'd never been Gerbilled before.
"You horrid little bastard!"
And with that took his great hoof
And stamped on Gerbil's face.
END.

The Phenomenon of Sudden Crashing Reality

You like me?
Well I like you
Maybe we could go for coffee

Better hold your breath my lad
Strap yourself in, I'm just like her
We both didn't know it you and I
But I'm just like her
Not knowing
Not feeling
Not understanding your language
Just like the last girl

Getting uglier and younger by the second
You talk and talk and talk
Start sentences with, "Basically,"
That sales pitch horseshit speak
Sanctimonious and weird
And baffling to me
You talk and talk and talk

I'd never noticed your hair so thin
Or so far receded
Or bitch tits so strange in that black t-shirt
Another black t-shirt
Why so angry? You don't know them
Did all that hot air clear your lungs?
Make ickul wickul baby better?
Or serve to remind you you are failing
Dying each minute, taking me with you

You poor deluded sod
You like me
Because I'm like that girl
Just like that girl
You still like me?
Well I don't like you

Very. Bad. Fruit.

Don't I look tasty?
Plump and juicy?
Shiny-skinned and ripe?

Begging to be taken
Aching to be bitten
Anxiously I wait

Pick me up
Then put me down
I am not chocolate
With her sugar-whore grin
Passed over I lose my shine
More bitter by the day

Picked up and dropped
Picked up and dropped
Not dead inside
Not rotten
Just bruised